That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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