it glows. i had to have it.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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