I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
