after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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