Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
