do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
