Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize