I puked a lego.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Who died my cat blue again?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
