the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
