Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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