So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
