i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
