woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
