He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
