As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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