I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
