It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
