I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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