I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
