Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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