You just made me feel so damn special
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
