Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Where did you get a picture of my penis
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
