And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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