What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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