brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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