is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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