idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
