final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
