Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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