Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
