I think I am morally bankrupt
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
