I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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