dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
