these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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