All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I puked a lego.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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