The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Randomize