Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
