Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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