I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize