We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize