My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
