The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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