Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
