So drunk, too bad you don't want this
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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