So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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