yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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