We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Green mimosas i think yes
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
