Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
