You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
