I need help removing her.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Randomize
