so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
