Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
