she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
my liver is dry heaving
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