? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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