some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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