Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
