OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
