I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
