OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
