wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
