Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
