the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
